A note on the author:
I AM not an atheist or an agnostic. An atheist, in my opinion, is the most one dimensional person in this “plane of existence”. An agnostic, on the other hand, is a person hanging in a limbo with constant denial. They remind me of cartoon figures at a precipice defying Newtonian gravity by a few more seconds; finally falling and creating a huge crater in the shape of their body before emerging alive, only to do it again.
Now if you are thinking I must be some religious fanatic, hold your thoughts. I AM not one of THEM.
But who AM I to judge people and their beliefs when I am still struggling with the “who AM I?” part of that question?
However this story is not about me.
It is about Varvara.
I might be Varvara.
I might not be Varvara.
I might be disguised as Varvara by night to carry out a vendetta.
Varvara might be my doppelganger.
Varvara and I might be inhabiting a single body; a hybrid much like Man-Bat (although he was an inter-species hybrid).
My soul is inhabiting Varvara’s body or her soul might be inhabiting my body.
Is there one answer? Does the answer depend on who is looking for it?
11TH September 2013
I walked on a beach and watched the waves crash against the rocks. I sat there looking into the thin space and far away horizon slowly appearing as the earth rotated towards the sun. My memories were coming back to me. With every wave slowly retreating into the ocean, I could feel my life slipping away from me into an oblivion. I had a three more years to live. I could remember a life where I would look at these waves and wonder if they had a mind of their own. It felt like centuries ago. A distant memory surfacing and becoming clearer with every ray of sunlight slowly playing peek-a-boo with the ocean. I finally found the answer. These waves had no mind of their own. An eccentric soul can personify them, give them a life call them violent and passionate but in the end, they are influenced by the moon. An object hundreds of thousands of kilometers away decides ‘their fate’.
A romantic idea subdued. Now all I see are tidal waves.