If only they could talk…

From the ongoing series of ‘A Song of Blood and Air’.

Part 1 of the series:  https://schrodingersdaisy.wordpress.com/2016/11/14/the-iron-throne/

Part 2:   https://schrodingersdaisy.wordpress.com/2017/01/26/estimating-2000000000-bo/

Title borrowed from a book written by Herriot.

This is a stolen transcript from a secret monthly meeting held at an unknown location in the ancient city of Chemidom; ruled by Lord Oxygen.

The purpose of the meetings are to review the intel Homo sapiens have gathered on different citizens of Chemidom city after which the committee assesses risks and comes up with strategies to tackle any imminent danger. 

Time stamp: illegible…

Lord Oxygen:  Sheriff Nitrogen, as you know, patrols relentlessly to keep our kingdom safe. In his recent evening patrol he has brought back a scroll.  Professor Carbon confirms that one of his own kind, Mr. Graphite was exploited to write it by the wretched Homo sapiens. I want all of you to go through it carefully and tell me what you think.


Metal Sodium was peeved by the contents of the scroll.  She was one of the wisest element in the kingdom.

Metal Sodium:  Homo sapiens are utterly foolish.  Is this how they define us?  Look at this chart.  There is no creativity in it.  How would anyone appreciate what we are made of and how we interact with one another in our Kingdom?

An elusive element: Is it not better that they have not yet understood us?  We have a fighting chance in this war against them.

Metal Sodium:  That is true but sometimes I wish they knew more and appreciated us without exploiting us.  Take a look at this.  They have defined oxidation as loss of electrons and reduction as gain of electrons.

The entire committee drew a long breath in when they heard this.  There was a long silence.

On the other hand, Lord Oxygen responded with a smirk.  His Lordship was proud that Homo sapiens coined the reaction using his name.

‘Poor Fluorine,’ everyone else thought but no one said it out loud in fear of Lord Oxygen’s wrath.

Fluorine was better at grabbing electrons than Lord Oxygen but unlike the Lord, he lacked self-control.

“Henceforth, I declare by law that we call it oxidation too, like these nincompoop Homo sapiens,” announced Lord Oxygen.

Metal Iron was the first one to raise his objections.  He reminded the committee that they knew better than to follow the ways of the Homo sapiens.

Metal Iron:  Let me narrate our Kingdom’s oldest lore where we define oxidation better than these nincompoops.

A passionate electron grabber meets a highly spiritual electron donor. After several encounters and missed opportunities instead of giving up they keep bouncing back.  They do not have much in common. Some of them can lead solitary lives for eternity.  However when they do hit it off, they calm each other down and form a stable relationship.

*At this point the human with the stolen transcript laughs and confirms whether he is indeed reading about oxidation/reduction, not an astrological chart.  He turns to another page and finds a chart signed by Mr. Graphite and his exotic Dyes.  The red coloured arrow was used to show an increase in the passionate nature of the element and blue was used to show increase in spiritual awakening.*

Inkedbleh _LI

Graphite & Dye Co. LTD.

The committee agreed on not including other missing elements in case Homo sapiens steal it and realize there are more elements than they thought they knew.

Author’s Note: This piece has no form or structure.  It is a product of absurd imagination with no future prospects for its creator.


One thought on “If only they could talk…

  1. Pingback: Estimating 2,000,000,000 BO | schrodingersdaisy

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